Tuesday, October 28, 2008 i really love you as my sister when we started tuh be even closer .
i treated you like princess at first too .
cause i lost one true sister last time & i don't want history tuh repeat again .
its so hard tuh find a true sister .
last time , when you are sad , i tired tuh consoled you .
when you are , boring i accompanied you .
sometimes even gave up my other friends & didn't turn up for work .
i tried tuh find many many activities for you just tuh cheer you up .
last time when you with your ex , you're sad , just one call from you & i rushed there .
but in the end ?
what did i get back ?
you lied tuh me because of a stranger !
i'm thinking have i lied tuh you before ?
all your reasons are just shit .
even your loved one don't believe you .
you said you don't care that's why you didn't say anything .
that means you wanted tuh keep this secret forever .
even from your loved one ?
just because of a stranger ?
is it worth ? you said you will stick tuh one .
lying can last longer ?
it hurts even more now than you whenever i thought of it .
after that incident , i tried tuh forget about it & trust you completely .
but , whenever i think , its because of a STRANGER , i felt that my hatred for you gets deeper .
i tried tuh control my feelings & peace with you .
but somehow i can't .
i know you took care of me & everything .
i appreciated it .
you never attitude me before .
i will not too at first .
but don't you notice , my attitude towards you changes after that incident ?
think about it . actually , partly also your fault .
if you did say about that tuh me straight after he msg you ,
i wouldn't change till like that .
you always left me alone .
even after i'm sad & he left me .
your reason was you slept late ytd & kinda tired .
i accepted it & tried tuh find things tuh past time .
i hate lonely , you know it .
its normal tuh have phobia after once .
& if there's first time , there's always second time .
i told him is because i cant tahan alr .
i need someone tuh talk tuh .
actually you were the one .
but you gave up .
about money , i told you already .
i need it tmr as its for me tuh eat .
i can't tahan hunger . you know it .
you promised tuh return me but you didn't .
if i have money i will return you .
since when i have so much money .
every time we are okays about going where .
but you were the one who disagreed .
last time , no matter how tired i am , i still meet you .
you always prefer tuh go his house than accompanying me.
i don't wanna ask you .
cause your answer will always be 'no he didn't msg me' .
what's the point asking .
& i really wish that your guy & my guy & we both could be very close .
like all friends & have lots of laughter .
it don't worth because of a stupid guy .
& our friendship just continue like that .
the problem lies on me .
if i can just forget the whole damn thing , everything will be okays .
but it will take ages i think .
i'm trying my best already .
